Dear Srila Prabhupäda,
Please accept my humble obeisances at your lotus feet. All Glories to Your Divine Grace. You once told us that on the absolute platform disappearance and appearance are the same – like sunset and sunrise – both are beautiful. Thus today we share some realizations from your disappearance day.
Srila Prabhupäda’s Disappearance Day, Vrindavana, 1993, 7.25 PM
Jagadisa Mahäräja was singing. Govindam ädi puruñam. I thought: You must be very close to Srila Prabhupäda. I want to be with you. Please don’t leave me. Bhurijana Prabhu came and put Srila Prabhupäda’s cädar on my head. Thought: You helped to introduce me to my spiritual master and brought me closer to him. You taught me what is a real Vaisnava. Wherever you go, I will run after you. Please don’t leave me. The devotees joined in the kirtana to express their love and glorify Srila Prabhupäda. I thought: Without you I would have fallen down millions of times. I am completely dependent on you all. Please don’t leave me. I thought of Srila Prabhupäda’s letter: “After leaving this material realm, does the devotee remain forever with his spiritual master? The answer is yes. But why do you only want to be in the spiritual world with Siddhasvarüpa? Why not all? Siddhasvarüpa will go, you will go, Shyamasundara will go, and all others will go. We will have another ISKCON there.” We should all be together in the spiritual world, serving Sri Sri Rädhä Shyamasundara and Their associates.
Then B.B. Govinda Mahäräja told a wonderful story. Akiïcana Krishna däsa Babaji Mahäräja came to meet Srila Prabhupäda in the last days. Govinda Mahäräja was singing soft kirtana while Tamäl Krishna Goswami was sitting near Srila Prabhupäda on the bed. Babaji Mahäräja jumped up on Srila Prabhupäda’s bed. He said something in Bengali, and Srila Prabhupäda laughed in ecstasy. Then Srila Prabhupäda stopped. He became very serious. “Hmm.
tādera caraṇa-sebi-bhakta-sańe bās /janame janame hoy ei abhilāṣ
.” Then again they began joking and laughing, and Srila Prabhupäda again became thoughtful. “Hmm. tādera caraṇa-sebi-bhakta-sańe bās /janame janame hoy ei abhilāṣ.”
I realized that this was my actual prayer – to serve the lotus feet of the Goswamis and live in the association of devotees. This was my actual desire. And I realized where it came from. It came from you, Srila Prabhupäda.
Actually, Srila Prabhupäda, I have no qualification. My only qualification is that you accepted me. By your mercy, others may accept me too.
Desiring to be your eternal servants’ servant,